I find myself with eternal love from the Father whenever it feels like I'm just an inch away from Him. The feeling of the Holy Spirit indwelling you is truly indescribable. I had thought if I stayed "holy" or "spiritual", the consistent indication of God's love would be present. I guessed wrong. Whenever I try too hard to be "spiritual", I'm really not. I just think I am. The conscious mind takes over and resolves you to think like a sinner and not like Christ. I wish it weren't so.