Mika and I were talking about addictions the other day. I was concerned that she may become addicted to coffee since she started to drink caffeine regularly.
She asked if I had any addictions. And I thought about it. When I went through my adolescence, I was addicted to self-loathing; hating who I was and the mistakes I've made. When I first got to college, I was addicted to him. After that, I got addicted to anything that could make me feel remotely better; partying, boys, whatever. Now that it is my senior year...What am I addicted to?
Well, as of right now, I think I'm addicted to trying to get in shape. I wake up each morning, look into the mirror, point out my flaws, and move on to eating less and exercising more for the day. Last week, my body has gone through a lot. I think my body is just now getting into the groove of exercising each day even though I ran over the summer. I played rooftop football countless times. I played basketball with the guys on Friday. I ran the trail a couple of times. I practiced flag football yesterday. It feels nice being active.
But truthfully, I really want to be addicted to Christ. It's so cliche. But I run towards things or people that only satisfy me temporarily. Jesus is my living water. And I would much rather spend my night getting to know Jesus than trying to figure out what to do next. Once again, I've compromised my hunger for Jesus for temporary satisfaction.
I want to live wholly for Jesus.