Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Time of Relief.
it's over...
nearly 4 months...
it's done. We've made history! Baylor History that is! First Chinese New Year Celebration EVER! And i was part of that!!
After all that was said and done, people coming up to me and congratulating me...All i can say is "no waay." This event could not have beeen such a success as it was if
not for the people. Up until cleaning time, I wasn't able to enjoy the succes of the event, nor was I even able to stress about it. I just wanted to make sure everything was in place, everyone knew what they were doing, having everything come on time, etc etc etc. As everybody was cleaning up, I sat down at one of the steps. It was a success, i told myself. People liked it. The people who were involved are happy. It was a success. I had to tell myself these things! And then, I yelped, "IT WAS AWESOME!"... and from that point on, I couldn't help but be happy. It was finally over and we made it a success.
The funny thing is. I think it's all God. From the beginning of the project, I have been praying nonstop. Sometimes, I would have dreams about the event. That nobody would show up or everybody would be at each other's throats. As soon as I would wake up, I'd send a prayer up to God and hope that Chinese New Year at Baylor would be divinely graced. You can imagine how much this event meant to me, if you could videotape the thoughts that have been running through my head. But ultimately, i would have to give God the thanks. Because, he believes in me. And that's what makes me go through each day without pulling all my hair out.
nearly 4 months...
it's done. We've made history! Baylor History that is! First Chinese New Year Celebration EVER! And i was part of that!!
After all that was said and done, people coming up to me and congratulating me...All i can say is "no waay." This event could not have beeen such a success as it was if
not for the people. Up until cleaning time, I wasn't able to enjoy the succes of the event, nor was I even able to stress about it. I just wanted to make sure everything was in place, everyone knew what they were doing, having everything come on time, etc etc etc. As everybody was cleaning up, I sat down at one of the steps. It was a success, i told myself. People liked it. The people who were involved are happy. It was a success. I had to tell myself these things! And then, I yelped, "IT WAS AWESOME!"... and from that point on, I couldn't help but be happy. It was finally over and we made it a success.
The funny thing is. I think it's all God. From the beginning of the project, I have been praying nonstop. Sometimes, I would have dreams about the event. That nobody would show up or everybody would be at each other's throats. As soon as I would wake up, I'd send a prayer up to God and hope that Chinese New Year at Baylor would be divinely graced. You can imagine how much this event meant to me, if you could videotape the thoughts that have been running through my head. But ultimately, i would have to give God the thanks. Because, he believes in me. And that's what makes me go through each day without pulling all my hair out.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Brokeback Mountain.
Man, I'm suppose to finish my paragraph summaries for my Wall Street assignment.
But before i do, I need to get my Brokeback commentary off my chest.
I was suppose to watch it earlier on last week. But somehow, it didn't work out. Originally, i had planned on watching it thursday. But then again, i got busy with random stuff. AFC was fun. I was being a bully with Elaine and Jen. haha fun stuff. We weren't really bullies, but we were having way to much fun making fun of each other and other people...
The next day, i woke up earlier than usual to go to Barfield to start or "practice" decorating. After 4 hours of productivity, Elaine and I venture to the movies. We were kind of in a rush because we hadn't eaten and made a trip to Wendy's with decorating crew. 5 minutes before the show started, we left for Galaxy. Good thing we were in time for the last few previews.
At first, I was confused and kind of taken back by the introduction of Jack and Ennis. But as soon as the story begins to develop, I was drawn into their lives. I think i identify with Ennis. Not that I'm hiding some big secret, but all my life, i have never been really expressive about how i feel. Usually, the times that i've burst have either been in my dreams or in front of a particular person. I'm the kind of person to bottle things up. But as soon as an X factor appears to trigger an emotional breakdown, I start being hysterical. Based on Elaine's reference of elements, i think i would be earth too. I don't think i'm much a water kind of gal. Maybe I want to be perceived as such. But at the end of the day, i'm really earthy.
Jack was Ennis' particular person. I want a Jack. So romantic. So kind. So passionate.
I may be ruining the movie...
Again, I went in the theater as a cynic and was ready to be judgmental about the controversial movie. But, fortunately the story of an undying love pulled me in and shattered all my presumptions about what the movie may have implied. I have to say, brokeback mountain is the greatest love story that i've ever encountered.
Each time they fought, I could see how they were struggling with their hatred of what they cannot change. Yet their love of what they have as destined lovers seemed to have always conquered. sigh. i love it. And every time they met up, it was though nothing had changed and they were back to where they first met, Brokeback Mountain.
I really admire both actors for the work they did in the film. They were truly incredible. There was a scene where Ennis (Heath) cradles Jack's upper body with one arm around Jack's neck and the other over his chest. I really like that scene because the way he positions himself behind Jack makes me think that Ennis is trying to protect Jack and what he has with him. And because he's not expressive with his words, his loving guesstures is proof of his love for Jack.
The relationship between the two men made me realize what kind of love i wanted. I want a love that aside from the consequences of accidental mistakes, my heart will be given to a heart that's willing to be taken away. unconditional love. I want a love where even though i may make mistakes, I'll keep coming back to make up for my mistakes. I want a love where time seems to pass too quickly to grasp.
And then, the relationship Ennis had with his daughter reminded me of my relationship with my dad. As i was growing up, i never understood my father. He didn't love me the way i saw other girls' fathers treated their daughters. As a result, i purposely blindsided myself to think that my father will never take time to love me as i ought to be loved. I cried whenever Alma Jr. tried to reach out to Ennis, and Ennis, in turn, never showed any kind of emotion. sigh.
Overall, this movie makes me sad. Maybe it's a good sad. Brings me back to reality of how cruel the world can be.
"God! I wish I knew how to quit you."
But before i do, I need to get my Brokeback commentary off my chest.
I was suppose to watch it earlier on last week. But somehow, it didn't work out. Originally, i had planned on watching it thursday. But then again, i got busy with random stuff. AFC was fun. I was being a bully with Elaine and Jen. haha fun stuff. We weren't really bullies, but we were having way to much fun making fun of each other and other people...
The next day, i woke up earlier than usual to go to Barfield to start or "practice" decorating. After 4 hours of productivity, Elaine and I venture to the movies. We were kind of in a rush because we hadn't eaten and made a trip to Wendy's with decorating crew. 5 minutes before the show started, we left for Galaxy. Good thing we were in time for the last few previews.
At first, I was confused and kind of taken back by the introduction of Jack and Ennis. But as soon as the story begins to develop, I was drawn into their lives. I think i identify with Ennis. Not that I'm hiding some big secret, but all my life, i have never been really expressive about how i feel. Usually, the times that i've burst have either been in my dreams or in front of a particular person. I'm the kind of person to bottle things up. But as soon as an X factor appears to trigger an emotional breakdown, I start being hysterical. Based on Elaine's reference of elements, i think i would be earth too. I don't think i'm much a water kind of gal. Maybe I want to be perceived as such. But at the end of the day, i'm really earthy.
Jack was Ennis' particular person. I want a Jack. So romantic. So kind. So passionate.
I may be ruining the movie...
Again, I went in the theater as a cynic and was ready to be judgmental about the controversial movie. But, fortunately the story of an undying love pulled me in and shattered all my presumptions about what the movie may have implied. I have to say, brokeback mountain is the greatest love story that i've ever encountered.
Each time they fought, I could see how they were struggling with their hatred of what they cannot change. Yet their love of what they have as destined lovers seemed to have always conquered. sigh. i love it. And every time they met up, it was though nothing had changed and they were back to where they first met, Brokeback Mountain.
I really admire both actors for the work they did in the film. They were truly incredible. There was a scene where Ennis (Heath) cradles Jack's upper body with one arm around Jack's neck and the other over his chest. I really like that scene because the way he positions himself behind Jack makes me think that Ennis is trying to protect Jack and what he has with him. And because he's not expressive with his words, his loving guesstures is proof of his love for Jack.
The relationship between the two men made me realize what kind of love i wanted. I want a love that aside from the consequences of accidental mistakes, my heart will be given to a heart that's willing to be taken away. unconditional love. I want a love where even though i may make mistakes, I'll keep coming back to make up for my mistakes. I want a love where time seems to pass too quickly to grasp.
And then, the relationship Ennis had with his daughter reminded me of my relationship with my dad. As i was growing up, i never understood my father. He didn't love me the way i saw other girls' fathers treated their daughters. As a result, i purposely blindsided myself to think that my father will never take time to love me as i ought to be loved. I cried whenever Alma Jr. tried to reach out to Ennis, and Ennis, in turn, never showed any kind of emotion. sigh.
Overall, this movie makes me sad. Maybe it's a good sad. Brings me back to reality of how cruel the world can be.
"God! I wish I knew how to quit you."
Friday, January 20, 2006
An epiphany if you will.
I had a great urge to swim today. So i got dressed and headed towards the gym. It was kind of a reminiscent feeling on my way to the SLC. I felt like I haven't gone in ages but at the same time, it seemed like just days when i first came to the gym freshman year. I got into the pool. Started off with breaststroke. After a lap, i decided to start my freestroke laps. For a typical day at the pool, i usually like to stay in the pool until i'm completely exhausted or for at least 45 minutes worth of laps. I was energized and ecstatic about being in the water once again. It has been ages since I've swam. I swim for 15 minutes and have already gone countless laps without stopping. I thought, this is great, after all this time, i can keep up my endurance. At this rate, I'll be in good shape before I graduate. I'll become my ideal image of me if i continue to work hard. I'll keep up my grades. I'll get a job. Things will be great! Why didn't I think about this earlier?
And as soon as i started looking back. I started recalling what has happened this last year. The instant i relived my past mistakes, I started feeling sluggish. There was a reason why i had stayed away from the pool for so long. It triggered something deep inside me. I was beginning to feel slow and tired.
Why do i let my past and my mistakes get me down so much? So far, i've been depressed but not to the point where i wasn't hopeful about my future. It's all a matter of my state of mind. If i know that i can succeed, then it's going to happen. I just need to believe it in my heart. If I know that life will be better than going from day to day wondering if there's something better out there, then i'm going to hope and dream for a better way of life.
I need to shoot for the moon. Even if i fall, i'll land among the stars.
And as soon as i started looking back. I started recalling what has happened this last year. The instant i relived my past mistakes, I started feeling sluggish. There was a reason why i had stayed away from the pool for so long. It triggered something deep inside me. I was beginning to feel slow and tired.
Why do i let my past and my mistakes get me down so much? So far, i've been depressed but not to the point where i wasn't hopeful about my future. It's all a matter of my state of mind. If i know that i can succeed, then it's going to happen. I just need to believe it in my heart. If I know that life will be better than going from day to day wondering if there's something better out there, then i'm going to hope and dream for a better way of life.
I need to shoot for the moon. Even if i fall, i'll land among the stars.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
elder
Grace, a 21 year old.
who would'a thought?
1/1/05:
This year i want to whole heartedly promise myself and others to be a better person in keeping my resolutions.
Resolutions:
1. tell one of my secrets to at least one person.
2. a random act of kindness given to others as occasionally as possible.
3. live with integrity.
4. read the word, pray, and worship daily.
5. be less critical.
6. love unconditionally.
7. honor my parents.
These are very generalized. Yes, i know. I don't want to promise something that i don't intend to keep. God, help me with the things that i struggle with. Teach me in your ways of goodness. May this year bear fruit so that it may glorify you.
i kept my resolutions to the best of my ability. I'd say I did pretty well. I've been listening to Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Pastor Joel Osteen. I recommend it to anyone. I often don't like Christian books that are bestsellers because they've fallen prey to retail gimmicks. But Joel Osteen does have some really really encouraging words. Perhaps the only encouraging words i've heard as of late. He said that even though it doesn't feel like God is there, he really is. In fact, when you feel God the least, that's when God's working in you the most.
I just hope that though this past year seemed like a waste, something or someone has benefitted from my shortcomings and inadequacies in one way or another.
For this upcoming year, i think i should devote myself to the theme of responsibility. I'm going to own up to my age and realize that now that i'm officially an adult, i'll take responsibility for my obligations, my actions, my words, my duties. Also, be aware of my responsibilities toward my parents, my brothers, my friends, etc.
Aja Aja Fighting~~! I think i should also boycott boys this year. WHat do you think?
who would'a thought?
1/1/05:
This year i want to whole heartedly promise myself and others to be a better person in keeping my resolutions.
Resolutions:
1. tell one of my secrets to at least one person.
2. a random act of kindness given to others as occasionally as possible.
3. live with integrity.
4. read the word, pray, and worship daily.
5. be less critical.
6. love unconditionally.
7. honor my parents.
These are very generalized. Yes, i know. I don't want to promise something that i don't intend to keep. God, help me with the things that i struggle with. Teach me in your ways of goodness. May this year bear fruit so that it may glorify you.
i kept my resolutions to the best of my ability. I'd say I did pretty well. I've been listening to Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Pastor Joel Osteen. I recommend it to anyone. I often don't like Christian books that are bestsellers because they've fallen prey to retail gimmicks. But Joel Osteen does have some really really encouraging words. Perhaps the only encouraging words i've heard as of late. He said that even though it doesn't feel like God is there, he really is. In fact, when you feel God the least, that's when God's working in you the most.
I just hope that though this past year seemed like a waste, something or someone has benefitted from my shortcomings and inadequacies in one way or another.
For this upcoming year, i think i should devote myself to the theme of responsibility. I'm going to own up to my age and realize that now that i'm officially an adult, i'll take responsibility for my obligations, my actions, my words, my duties. Also, be aware of my responsibilities toward my parents, my brothers, my friends, etc.
Aja Aja Fighting~~! I think i should also boycott boys this year. WHat do you think?
Sunday, January 01, 2006
movie freak
i've watched so many movies this month. I've decided to record which ones i've seen.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith*
Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Syriana
The Wedding Date
The Notebook*
Life or Something like it
Million Dollar Baby
Saving Face
National Treasure*
Finding Neverland
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
Pride and Prejudice
Forrest Gump*
Memoirs of a Geisha
King Kong
Must Love Dogs*
2046
Mr. and Mrs. Smith*
Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Syriana
The Wedding Date
The Notebook*
Life or Something like it
Million Dollar Baby
Saving Face
National Treasure*
Finding Neverland
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
Pride and Prejudice
Forrest Gump*
Memoirs of a Geisha
King Kong
Must Love Dogs*
2046
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