reflection.

I looked into the mirror.

"You're beautiful" i said.

fanatic.

I am a MOVIE-FREAK.

No matter how many times I may have watched a movie, I can still manage to waste my time watching it again. I keep telling myself to pull away from the television. TV is bad. It robs you of your time, your brain, your life. aiye. Maybe another day. Maybe I'll surrender another day.

Movies i've watched in the last month:
Bend it like Beckham
Happy Gilmore
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Da Vinci Code
Matchpoint
The Family Stone
While you were sleeping
Elizabethtown
Mona Lisa Smile

Movies I want to see:
X3: The Last Stand
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Happy Feet
Kinky Boots
Derailed
The Break up
You, Me, and Dupree
The Lake House

When I watch movies, I get so tied into the plot that I don't necessarily recognize the holes and pitfalls. There's my empathy for you. Therefore, i get easily swayed and emotional. Horrors are no good for me. Because I can't see past the movie and realize it is all gimmicks and story-telling. Man, even typing about horror movies is giving me the creeps.

Anyway. I need to face reality. I can't keep thinking my life is like one of those fairy tale movies. Prince Charming isn't going to come knocking on my door. My career isn't going to fall into my lap. My family will fight but won't necessarily make up at the end. Life isn't a movie. Life is real. I need to face it. And stop living in my own little wonder world.

reminisce.

I miss you.

I miss knowing you are by my side.
I miss knowing you will be there at a second's notice.
I miss holding your hand.
I miss arguing with you about life issues.
I miss cuddling with you when it's cold.
I miss the silence we had between us.
I miss the idea of you in my life.
I miss the reason why i was with you in the first place.
I miss you, I do.

So many things i've let go in my life up to this point. I wonder if all these things lost went towards the greater good of humanity.

or rather the greater good of my existence.

I'm afraid of what will happen when i am alone.

it's weird. I find that whenever i'm alone, i become my own worst nightmare. I revert back to my old sad nature. I begin to think about what has happened in my past, afraid of what i'll remember. When i'm alone, i'm alone with my thoughts, my selfish desires, my lustful flesh.

I fear being alone.

I have to recognize that when i'm alone, only God is there with me. God is not only found in me when i'm with people. But He's probably with me the most when i seek after Him in the quiet stillness of my aching heart.

I can't stand it anymore. I can't lie to myself nor can i lie to God. I can't live without God and his majesty.

ASA:
-Successful AsianFest with our FIRST Culture Show
-FIRST TIME EVER having Chinese New Year on Baylor Campus
-WON our first trophy at StompFEST 2006
-WON Student Organization of the Year

I'm so proud.