Meandering thoughts.

i wish i had something intelligent to offer to you like some philosophical epiphany or a supernatural intervention.

But no.

God is good. He gives rest to the weary.

Dear Lord, this pain inside me
Tears me apart
And Lord the more it hurts
The harder my heart

Oh, in my darkest hour
Your love comes shining through
Your word is true and You make all things new
And I know You're all I need
You say You're here and You calm my fears
And i know You'll never leave

Dear Lord, my heart is breaking
Breaking in two
And Lord my spirit's torn and
Crushed without You

Higher than the stars that shine
And deeper than the sea
Is my Savior's precious love
Your love has set me free
Set me free

Jennifer Szutu

jenn rocks.

Good guys, do they exist?

It boggles my mind how much one can be fixated on relationships. And I'm guilty as charged. I've been analyzing relationships of all kinds. But more so on "romantic relationships." I have to admit it, i really desire to be with someone. I want to be intimate with someone. But, I'm afraid that i am naive about too much to be in a sane relationship. Recently, or to be more exact, today... everywhere i went and everyone i ran into, something triggered me to speculate about my relationship with the opposite sex.

For one instance, I ran into Ron and his girlfriend Monica. First off, Ron rocks. He's a great man after God. He really is admirable for his heart to serve and care for his "flock." His girlfriend is awesome. I haven't talked to her much to make a respectful decision, but from what i can tell, she rocks ron's world. So therefore, she is to be admired as well. I met her at urbana. So, i know she's serving the Lord in some magnificent way, even if i don't know what it is.

But anyway, after bumping into them, I started to think, i want that. I want a relationship where i can hold hands with him while i shop for groceries. I want a relationship where i know that i will be taken care of. Ron is a good guy, but he's taken.

Just last weekend, I went to Eric's wedding. It was truly surreal watching my older brother get married. He was so happy. He and Huong are so cute together. God has so much in store for them now that they are married. I remember they played "let's stay together" by al green and both of them were goofing off on the dance floor. =P (Somehow, i knew that al green would be in the wedding.)

I wholly respect eric and huong. They are an awesome couple reaching for the things of God. Eric with his humble heart and audacious will. Huong with her joyful nature and kind spirit. They compliment each other. Eric rocks. He's a good guy because he's my cousin =P

*sigh

In the end, i realize that the characteristics of Ron and Eric evolve because of God. They are not who they are unless God has made them to be humble and strong-willed. I know i am not fully developed into the person God wants me to be to be in a relationship. I want my future husband to have the best of who i am. Until i develop into that woman, my first and foremost lover is my Lord =)

Bleh.

Being sick sucks.

I saw Daniel, Steve, and James at the mall. That made me happy.

My throat hurts. God please love me.

Highlight of the day.

I got mail today! i hardly ever get mail! What makes it even better is that it's from Jen! i love it! THank yoU!

She sent us Allen girls some collectibles =P

But let me tell you what else made my day. I went to chinese class. I was seriously considering skipping but figured that since i was already at the student union, i should go to class. So half the class was gone, all the guys were gone, and i didn't have a book to bum off of, but it was nice. =)

But anyway, so i have this small box in which jen sent her stuff in. after class i picked up my box and was about to head out of class. I bid my teacher farewell and he looks at me and then at my box, points and exclaims, "box!" and giggles.

HAHahHAHAHAaAhHA

=\ i'm easily amused, sorry

I am Squirrel Murderer.

Dang. I was driving to Russell Hall to pick up Sarah and Sami to go to church. I was right along Dutton Rd. I saw a cute squirrel in the middle of the road right on the yellow line. He was holding a nut of some sort. He stood nearly a feet tall, as if he was about to conquer that piece of nut. As I pass by gazing at how proud he was of his nut, i prayed and hoped that he would keep his stature and not run to the sidewalk. As I was just about to pass him, he decides to gun it. He makes a fast move under my car. But unfortunately, I heard and felt a THUMP under my tire.

sad, isn't it?

We're in the playoffs!

AFC guys rock at football. We start monday!


top: ron, james, pham, steve, sam, hiro, daniel (captain)
bottom: aaron, philip, caleb, peter, john


ending prayer =)