Good guys, do they exist?

It boggles my mind how much one can be fixated on relationships. And I'm guilty as charged. I've been analyzing relationships of all kinds. But more so on "romantic relationships." I have to admit it, i really desire to be with someone. I want to be intimate with someone. But, I'm afraid that i am naive about too much to be in a sane relationship. Recently, or to be more exact, today... everywhere i went and everyone i ran into, something triggered me to speculate about my relationship with the opposite sex.

For one instance, I ran into Ron and his girlfriend Monica. First off, Ron rocks. He's a great man after God. He really is admirable for his heart to serve and care for his "flock." His girlfriend is awesome. I haven't talked to her much to make a respectful decision, but from what i can tell, she rocks ron's world. So therefore, she is to be admired as well. I met her at urbana. So, i know she's serving the Lord in some magnificent way, even if i don't know what it is.

But anyway, after bumping into them, I started to think, i want that. I want a relationship where i can hold hands with him while i shop for groceries. I want a relationship where i know that i will be taken care of. Ron is a good guy, but he's taken.

Just last weekend, I went to Eric's wedding. It was truly surreal watching my older brother get married. He was so happy. He and Huong are so cute together. God has so much in store for them now that they are married. I remember they played "let's stay together" by al green and both of them were goofing off on the dance floor. =P (Somehow, i knew that al green would be in the wedding.)

I wholly respect eric and huong. They are an awesome couple reaching for the things of God. Eric with his humble heart and audacious will. Huong with her joyful nature and kind spirit. They compliment each other. Eric rocks. He's a good guy because he's my cousin =P

*sigh

In the end, i realize that the characteristics of Ron and Eric evolve because of God. They are not who they are unless God has made them to be humble and strong-willed. I know i am not fully developed into the person God wants me to be to be in a relationship. I want my future husband to have the best of who i am. Until i develop into that woman, my first and foremost lover is my Lord =)