human interaction

Thanksgiving Day - Eva and Mika came down to Houston to visit me. It was a hectic morning because I woke up to go for a run and clean a little bit before they came. At around 11, they called and asked me how much longer it would take for them to get to my house. I estimated an hour because they were in the Woodlands. Then I lost track of time, and before I knew it, 20 minutes had passed. So I jumped into the shower and when I came out there they were! lol Andy and Michael were packing, so I guess they let them in. After I got dressed and ready to go, we went out for lunch to House of Bowls where Peter met us up there later. We talked for nearly 4 hours. It was fun catching up, talking about relationships because we were all single, and planning our next vacation. Afterwards, we went home so that I could start making dinner. I made kim chi soup and samgyupsal, and Mika brought a whole ham from Dallas! It was an interesting meal. I had work the next day, so we didn't stay up late.

Black Friday - I worked. Since I wouldn't have time to make the green bean casserole I had prepared to make, I asked Michael to do it. And once work was over, I rushed home to pick up the dish. But while i was on my way home, Michael called and said I didn't buy enough ingredients, so I went to HEB and decided to make a salad instead which would be quick and nutritious. Went to church Thanksgiving party -- fried turkey always so good, baby Audra so cute, and catching up with Lui and Jennifer. After dinner was done, I drove to Tapioca House to meet up Mika, Eva, Sarah, and Peter. Another great time-- talking and laughing. We got home and I passed out.

Saturday - We decided to have Dim Sum with Hongya and Joe at Fung's Kitchen. It was delicious! But poor Sarah. Halfway through the meal, we realized we had forgotten to call Sarah to meet us up for lunch. Yikes! But it was all good because she had lunch plans anyway, so she came to say goodbye to Mika and Eva and drop off the things Eva had left in her car.

It was a nice weekend. I miss hanging out with the friends.

prayer

I asked God to humble me,

and it's been the only answered prayer.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Psalm 51:1-19

"instead of victimizing yourself, do something to overcome the situation. -A"

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

unbelievable

I can't believe what just happened.

My brother mentioned another conference his church is promoting. Two guys named Bonnke and Dr. Crandall. Men of miracles.

And then he shows me a video of men and women receiving gold teeth, gold dust, manna and gem stones in church.

But the pivotal moment is when he decided to talk about false prophets. All these miracles, signs, and wonders are all a part of Jesus' ministry. To say that Jesus has changed is to go against the Bible. Jesus was, is, and will be the same.

John 14:12-14
I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

If anyone teaches contrary to the scripture, he is a false prophet. I felt like he was suggesting that the teaching I've been receiving at church is false and I need to have a grander picture of God. For me to not believe in miracles, signs, and wonders, makes me a "pharisee." The kicker was when he suggested that I didn't know the gospel. I told him that it's not that I don't believe these miracles occur today, but the danger is the focus. If we put too much emphasis on the miracles, we lose sight of that's important here, our relationship with God. The most important thing to me is that Jesus is my Savior and he died on the cross for my sin and rose again to redeem me. "Jesus is our Savior, that's it?"

I replied, "Andy, did you just hear yourself speak?" I was thinking, 'Jesus being our Savior isn't enough for you?'

"Grace, you need to know the full gospel."

And after that, I no longer wished to talk to him.

I'm confused and heart broken.

Mortal Error

"We have tried to secure spiritual pleasures by working upon fleshly emotions and whipping up synthetic feeling by means wholly carnal. And the total effect has been evil." A.W. Tozer

Fun Times

Carnival Conquest: Bahamas 2010

I had a great time on the cruise!

Day 1 - FBCC, Sonic, traffic, meeting new friends, boarding, BOOZE, waiting, exploring the ship, HAIR, SSQQ party, young people, feeling left out/we don't belong, dinner, welcome aboard show.

Day 2 - Breakfast, Foxtrot, Salsa Rueda, being a boy, laying on deck, name tag tan, karaoke, Marcus, head bob, dancing

Day 3 - Breakfast, Swing, Salsa Rueda, lunch, tanzanite, Swing, formal dinner, dancing, star gazing

Day 4 - Nassau, Bahamas, rainbow rings, alexandrite, Tropicana, salty water, nail polish, dancing-cumbia

Day 5 - Freeport, Bahamas, taxi, boobs, soft sand, umbrella!, dancing

Day 6 - Key West, Florida, government beach, love affair, parasailing, Don't hold the metal!, parachute?, stand when you land, bad example, formal dinner, awesome juggler, SSQQ dancing in the lobby

Day 7 - Breakfast, Club Music dance, band aid tan, legends show

sweet dream

We were in a hotel with my family and I looked across the room and realize there was someone famous sitting there. He was really cute and he smiled at me. My parents asked if I wanted to go and take a picture with him. When I stood next to him for the picture, I felt him pull me closer to him which gave me butterflies. He was really attractive--tall, dark, and handsome. I think he was an athlete. Well, we went up to our hotel room and the room itself reminded me of the rooms we used to get in Vegas as a child--the hotel suites with a full bar and dining room. It was huge. Once we were settled in, I decided I wanted to talk to this guy. My dream started to become disjointed at that point, but I do remember just feeling giddy because I was with him, laughing, flirting, and giggling. I felt so desirable and wanted to be in the dream so much that I didn't want to wake up.

Bucket List

1. Perform a solo on stage.
2. Skydive.
3. Bungee Jump.
4. Enter a dance competition.
5. Go cliff diving.
6. Leap off of Niagra Falls.
7. Go white water rafting.
8. Backpack through Europe.
9. Crash a senior prom.
10. Climb a real rock.
11. Participate in a marathon.
12. Participate in a triathlon.

getaway

I'm going to Austin this weekend! I'm switching cars with Michael and attending a friend's birthday celebration. I'm looking forward to it thoroughly. I find myself planning vacations at work. muahaha.

what's your flavor?

Learning to dance salsa has been such an enjoyable experience. Not only do I learn to dance, but I also enjoy the company of fellow novice dancers. Along with that, I meet several men (my age!) who are interested in expanding their horizons. It is so refreshing.

But a thought hit me today. I am attracted to men with Latin flavor. Being around the Hispanic men in class, I feel a rush of intrigue when they speak even a hint of Spanish. Then I remembered that my ex was from Ecuador, and how I thoroughly enjoyed that particular aspect of him--to be able to speak several languages with one being Spanish. As with any remembrance, nostalgia comes rushing in along with the associated feelings.

I suppose I wouldn't mind dating someone not Asian.

knowledge

"The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."
Deuteronomy 29:29

The Lord reveals to us what we need for salvation and holy living.

Last night was so fun.

Love is.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.
Love always perseveres.
Love never fails.

walk by the Spirit

"Love is the key-- Joy is love singing. Peace is love resting. Long-suffering is love enduring. Kindness is love’s touch. Goodness is love’s character. Faithfulness is love’s habit. Gentleness is love’s self-forgetfulness. Self-control is love holding the reigns.”
Donald G. Barnhouse

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22-23

A super saint who is a loveless saint is no saint at all.

I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I wish to be, I am not what I hope to be; but, by the grace of God, I am not what I was. -John Newton

Pyramid Scheme

I think I almost fell for a pyramid scheme.

I was contacted through Career Builder about a job in sales for Lionheart Assurance Solutions. After coming off of my previous interview, I was open and willing to interview for companies simply for interview experience not necessarily interested in the position itself--bad idea.

I responded to the interest email with optimism and eagerness to interview for a job with seemingly great potential. In response, I immediately got an email scheduling the interview where I pick from interview time slots--1st flag. But I thought nothing of it because my college internship interviews were formatted the same way.

So, come interview day, I started to calculate my lunch break and how I could maximize the commute to the interview office, the interview, and the commute back to the bank on top of preparing my answers to all the interview questions I expected. As I drove, I prayed that I wouldn't be late and was passing through traffic with anxiety. When I went through the doors, I was a little proud of myself for making it at 1 on the dot. Once I went in, there were several people waiting to be interviewed--2nd flag--I thought I was going to be interviewed by the person who interviewed me.

Turns out it was a "group interview." The man asked each of us to introduce ourselves, tell why we were there, and what is our best asset. I went first--and after all that was done, he started to explain the company, the job, and the commission. I was thinking, great, good background information, he'll probably be 5 minutes and we'll start interviewing. Boy, was I wrong. He was speaking for 10 minutes, I began to ask myself if I was supposed to engage in conversation with him as some of the other candidates were. But even then, he was on the soapbox.--3rd flag-- But that subsided as he mentioned that what he was saying was necessary for the second part of the interview. So, I focused on what he was saying about the product. While he was explaining the company and the product, I felt like he was selling us the position--as if to persuade us to purchase a product. And in the end, that was exactly it. After an hour and a half of listening to this man talk, it turns out the position was not a position at all. He was selling a business that we would have to front on our own and pay for the product through Lionheart! He asked us to write down our interest and that would determine if we would proceed to the "real" individual interview. And I actually considered it!

But knowing my circumstances, I couldn't take that risk. So, I said no thanks--not knowing it is a scam.

Note to self: speak to a rep before interview.

Natalie Portman

...is so pretty.

While in college and during football intramurals, I once met a girl who resembled a lot like Natalie Portman.

I introduced myself and so did she. After a few short moments, I decided to say what I thought.

"Hey, so do you know who you remind me of?"
"Who?"
"You look a lot like Natalie Portman."
She glanced up at me and said nothing.
"Do you know who she is?"
"Yes," she replied and coyly said, "Thanks."

That was the only and last conversation I ever had with her. I wonder often if she took that as a compliment or something else. I would think the expected reaction is to be really flattered because many men find Natalie Portman quite beautiful and attractive.

Maybe she thought I was hitting on her...I dunno.

"the essence of our work as humans must be that it is done in conscious reliance on God's power, and in conscious quest of God's pattern of excellence, and in deliberate aim to reflect God's glory." John Piper

resolve to change

I'm at work.

And I've reached that point. That point where I need to move on. Yesterday, I received a call from a lady from Robert Half International concerning a position for a Staffing Manager at Accountemps. I was completely caught off guard because I hadn't been keeping track of where I've been applying to during my job search. I know that I applied to many through Robert Half, but I really didn't expect a response.

So, I was sitting at work talking on the phone to a potential employer. All the while, I was thinking, "good thing my coworker isn't here". The lady asked me some preliminary questions, told me about the position, asked me to do some homework, and to get back to her if I was interested. Being a Staffing Manager would be three-fold, sales, recruiting, and staffing, but a strong emphasis in sales.

Now, I'm praying hard. Whenever an opportunity such as this arises, a tidal wave of thoughts come and wash over me. I start to ask questions. Am I capable of sales? Do I want to do sales? Sales is my weakest point on my resume. How will my current employer receive the news that I'm leaving? How will I find someone to replace me? I have a lot of work to pass on to the person who fills my position. Will I be asked to go in and interview? Am I ready to go into my major? Will I remember all the things I learned in college? How will I be perceived and received at the interview?

Anxiety.

Lord, I am going to follow You. You make all things new and I will follow You forward. Thank You for this call. Thank You that this is an opportunity for me to experience. I depend on You for my future. Will You guide me in my next steps?

It doesn't hurt to try. If I do or don't get the job, I will still praise God for He alone is good and I look to Him for next steps.

Every year, I make new resolutions. This year, I simply resolve to change into the likeness of Christ.