Parallel Parking!

I parallel parked the other day. It was the first time i successfully parallel parked. Muahaha. I can now rule the world. Yay! But yeah, the thing is, i didn't pass when parallel parking when i took driver's ed. I got an F, but for everything else, i got an A. So i'm so extremely happy that i FINALLY did it! you should be proud of me.

A New Year has begun.

today was the first day of classes. Going from class to class, i keep running into random people. It's fun. haha. But urm, things are a bit hectic in my life. I'm not sure how stable i am anymore. I may come off as being "okay" or maybe i am. dah.

I don't know. I'm paranoid about a lot of things in my life. I've noticed that. Hah. It took my younger brother to actually point it out to me. But he's right. It's not that i make drama. It's more of worrying about how I interact with my friends. I worry that I'm not being as friendly, funny, understanding, considerate, [fill in postive adjective], as i could be. When I worry, it means i don't believe God can help me. I get so caught up in making everything right on my own strength that i can't hear God. I can't hear him say, "Grace, I'm here. Trust me." I've become a bit disillusioned.

But on the superficial side, i've been doing okay. I'm not necessarily sad about anything. Just been in a daze of what's been going on since Welcome Week. Welcome Week is an experience never to be forgotten. Man, it was a lot of work, well at least the first two days were. Thursday was move-in day so all Welcome Week staff were at the freshmen dorms helping them move in. It was hectic. At first, it was fun. We were excited to meet the new freshmen. But as time dragged on, we got dehydrated and exhausted. I worked for nearly 5 hours. Whew, talk about working out. We climbed the stairs with boxes, fringes, tvs, computers. It was tiring. But a good tired. =) But that was probably the most I had to work for Welcome Week. The rest of the time was merely speculating if we even needed to help at all.

Annnndd, living with Kristina has already been a great blessing. I love it. =) Well i have pictures. But i won't load until i get connection with my laptop. So i fare thee well.

What to pack.

Man, i'm a bit stumped. I know that i have to pack, but i can't seem to get enough motivation to do it. I suppose, subconsciously, i don't want to because i'd rather just stay in Houston. Or maybe i'm plain lazy. neh.

Today was nice. I spent time with my Dad. We had lunch together and then we cleaned the house. Yes, he still is a pain in the butt. Yes, he still lectures me on things I already heard him lecture about. And, yes, he still picks on every little detail of my life. But, I love him to death. It turns out that my mother thinks I love her the least. She thinks Michael loves her the most, then Andy, and lastly, me. I want to say that's not true. But, come to think of it, maybe it is.

Not that it really matters. I love my parents. I don't love the other any more or less. I love them for their support and their guidance and their love. Just because i'm not very affectionate with my mom doesn't mean i love her any less than my dad. I think it goes along the same lines with my friends. Just because i am not affectionate to you, doesn't mean i care for you any less. I've never been very expressive. Give me time. Maybe it'll grow on me, eventually...this outward sign of affection thing.

Me as a Lego.

Originally uploaded by riyamei.

If I were a lego, i would def-definitely look like that.

I feel stagnant.

Geez, I really feel lethargic and useless.

If I don't ask for it, it's not going to happen.

I really want God to break me down. I want to break down. I want my pride to crash into an oblivion. I want patience and humility to shower down on me. I want to serve and not be served. I wish to be the best sheep the Shepard has ever set his eyes on.

My relationship with God is complex. I have these conflicting ideas of who I'm suppose to be in Christ. I wrestle with this idea that an ultimate creator desires to spend time with me and for me to want to spend time with Him, is hard. Day to day, I wish to honor God. I wish to please him. I often see myself falling just short of glorifying Him. How do you get closer to God? How do you draw ever near to him to hear his heart beat? When do you feel his arms wrapped closely around you?

My life has been great. I've been keeping myself productive. I got a job. I had summer school for the first time. I'm meeting up with good friends every week. My family and I are on great terms. But in the midst of all this, I feel lost. It's true. Whenever our lives seem to be going great, we fail to acknowledge God. Isn't he the one who gave us such blessings?

Nearly a week left before I go back. I have a list of prayer requests:
- fresh faith: to live an active, spiritual life
- dynamic fellowship: brotherhood of believers
- extreme intimacy: draw ever closer to my sisters/brothers and to God
- driven/ambitious leadership: lead under the authority of God

Thank you, Jesus. This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!

hiya!

I'm pooped.

Today was my last day of class. It's been a long time since i've been proud of my writing. My teacher kept on praising me on my work. She said how my writings were always provocative and, more importantly, she was impressed. My goodness. I always thought that i was horrible at English. I mean, i'm no Zoe Tham, nor Andrew Ye. But, for the first time, i did well in my English class. If you've been following me since i started this blog, i used to always complain about my english classes. I hated english since Hemme during my Junior year. It was a living hell, being in that class. So, no more english. It ended with a bang!

The crew recently changed locations from Tapioca House to Tea Cafe (TeaDot). The food is great. Drinks? Man, you get your bang for that buck. I guess my only problem is, you don't know how to pay. I get confused if i'm suppose to go to the register, before or after i get my order. I don't know if I'm suppose to sit down at a table or go to the register to order. It's all very complex. haha.

Oh yeah, tomorrow is my last day of work. my oh my. This summer has gone by way too fast. I remember just coming back from RecWeek. I remember. I remember watching Troy with the Baylor folk. I remember. I remember my first day of work and the first time i screwed up at work. I remember. I remember my first paper due in class.

All i know is that this busyness, it's got me really worn out. I feel really burnt out. I don't feel like doing much anymore. It's quite sad. I'm more lethargic than i have ever been. My workout schedule is totally screwed up. oh well. hah. But i hope i regain my focus once school starts.

Boo on Boys.