affinity.

to be honest, i never wanted to be liked. I never asked you to like me. I never sought for your affirmation. it's funny. i never really liked myself. How could I? with the things i've done? But i will take what's been said, i'll take the compliments, encouragment, etc. and place them in my treasure box, precious they are to me...

sidenote: i really want to see closer for some reason...probably out of curiosity.

Secret Santa.

We did Secret Santa. Shannon had me and I had Jo. =) I got a scarf and the garden state soundtrack. yippeee!

The morning after, I wanted to show off my scarf to my dad.

I exclaimed, "Look! Dad! Look! Shannon got me this! [holds up scarf]
Dad looks up, "a rope?"

...

This semester flew by.

So many thoughts are running through my head a bajillion miles per hour. It's inconceivable how the mind works. I wish i could put into words exactly what i want to convey. Over the last few days, i've become vulnerable to my thoughts and feelings. Maybe it's due to lack of sleep. Or maybe it's the season. Or maybe i miss something or someone. Whatever it is, i wish things were a bit simpler. If i were you and you were me, would things be different? If you knew every thought and inkling in my body, would situations change?

I look back on the semester, and i wonder, did God move? Did i further God's kingdom by simply living? i'd say no. But i don't know that. Often times, i don't feel like i'm making an impact on those around me. Last year, i've grown accustomed to giving a little bit of me to everyone. I ended up crashing and burning, squeezed dry from life. I have this tendency to relate, possibly too much to people. Yeah, i'll listen to you, show empathy, and love you...but is that enough? I've realized that i've stretched myself to the max this week. My body is sore. My brain is sore. My heart beats faster each day. Even now, with finals over (yay), i feel the strain in my heart and soul. So strange.

I apologize to those that i've hurt along the way. I can't take back the things i've done. I can't undo the wrongs i've made. I'm still human, you know.

So i ask you to be patient with me. I'm still learning. I want to love and be loved. I want to serve. I want to say the unspoken. I want to have faith.

my goodness.

gah. i'm throwing my entire schedule off for finals. I have been working on an excess of caffeine, malnutrition, and deprivation of sleep. I don't know what i was thinking yesterday when i went go eat at magic china after pulling an all nighter, watching ocean's twelve after a two hour nap, eating jack in the box until we got kicked out, watching a prequel to a movie that i've never seen, and eating at denny's for a 3 hour conversation about nothing; i went to sleep at 6. Needless to say, I missed church this morning...it's okay because sami and sarah did too...actually no, there's no excuse.

Now, i'm avoiding having to study for my last two finals as much as possible, and i'm distracting mika from writing her paper =P

Ummm, i hate finals.

Warm fuzzies like whoa.

MY GOD! i am soo happy right now! I want to thank each and every one of you who came out to my insanely early birthday get-together.

Kristina, Zoe, Diane, Elaine, Phuong, Nhu, An, Tram, Sally, Sara, Jennifer, Mika, Mei, Carmen, Sherry, Sarah, and Sami

Andrew, Mario, Anthony, Eric, Pham, Howie, Philip, Edward, Billy, Ron, Alan, Steve, Caleb, Aaron, Chin, James, Daniel, Peter, SHAWN our waiter, Jairo, and Robert

I love everyone of you guys and am grateful to God for each of you. I know I don't express myself in an exquisite manner, but from the deepest of my heart, i love you all.

I remember...

the subtle utterances of truth from his mouth.

I miss...

the gentle breeze that comes from his embrace.

I wish...

he was near.

Santa's Workshop.

Santa's workshop was fuN! I wasn't expecting anything. I had just woken up from a nap so i was still a bit groggy as i walked into the sub. I went to the foodcourt and there were gift wrap, scissors and tape galore, and numerous boxes filled with toys at every table. And people had already started wrapping toys like crazy. Oh man, i started to get giddy inside. I love wrapping gifts. My mom and I would always go nuts during the holidays cause we both absolutely loved wrapping gifts. I went to a station and started my own little system and got into the rhythm of cutting, folding, and taping. hahaa. yeah, i'm a dork. I had fun tonight.