I'm feeling very contemplative and, at the same time, confused. I realize more and more that not a whole lot of people are like me. There was a friend of mine where I thought I could talk to her about anything that was on my mind, but the more I'm with her, I realize that I have to think about whether or not I should even suggest that there's something on my mind. Resulting in the aloof and reserved Grace that ahh..unfortunately still exists. See, I want people to know that I love Christ. I want people to know who I am as an individual. I want people to see for themselves if they like me or not, by my words and not by my restrained facade. Why does there always seem to be a gap between me and others?

I remember where the attention was turned towards me.
I had the spotlight. The chance to show who I was.
Where did it go.

I once grasped so dearly to that microphone.
The chance to speak my mind.
Where did it go.

Ahh...but it was all a dream
the chance of a lifetime, never will that occur.
For I know not if it even exists.

So here I am sitting here. Knowing two things:
1. I love Jesus to my heart's fullest.
2. I live only for Jesus.

Yet, immaturity still predominates in my body. It's so transparent. So, what am I going to do?