aww man...

I hate memories. The thought of memories, both good and bad, makes me so nostalgic and blah that i wish i could turn back the hands of time to either relive the good or redo the bad. There's so many things i would change. I wonder if i change those certain circumstances in the past, will my being be in a better state? Ahh what's past is past, right? Right!

Anyway, do you remember that one guy, that one guy that made you giddy inside with glee that for him to just look at you and say, "hi, there" would make your day? I sure do. I still remember thinking that i was actually in love with him. I would save our conversations on aim. I would keep anything and everything that even remotely reminded me of him. I think he's the ONLY guy that i've actually flirted with. haha. what a joke. me? Flirt? anyway. Yeah, he made me want to flirt with him just so i can get attention from him. Sometimes, he would flirt with me and for a short period of time, i had actually thought he liked me. I was listening to some old school songs about love and that warm fuzzy feeling inside and somehow i remembered this guy. He serenaded to me once. Well, him and another guy serenaded to this girl and myself.

We were having time to work on our projects for english class. As Lisa and I were talking, i heard a faint voice singing in the background. And slowly the voice became more confident and louder. He passed my right side and i looked directly at him. He made exaggerated facial expressions added with hand motions of "i love you" (pointing at his eye, covering his heart, and then pointing at me) while singing a bit out of tune. I didn't care. I giggled while watching him and his buddy make a show. But deep down, I was like, "O My God, could this BE any more divine". Him serenading to me is something that i wont forget. Guys, if you want to sweep a girl off her feet, serenade to her as corny as it may sound. Once a guy is able to be foolish for a girl than the relationship becomes special.

I remember crying over him once.

He lived here for only a semester! Now that i think of it. I remembering seeing him for the first time. It was the first day back from Christmas break my 8th grade year. ANd he moved back to California right when school was out and summer began. However, the second semester of my freshmen year, I had heard that he was coming back for spring break. I had wanted so bad to call him up and ask him if he wanted to hang out because I missed him. But i didn't have enough guts to do it. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Maybe it was a mistake of mine to just let him slip through my hands. Maybe i should have called. But i didn't and i can't change it. Oh but i wish i did. Still to this day, i think about him every so often...when I hear a Boyz II Men song or when I'm eating tofu...hehe