"...even worse are communications between myself and myself. i swear to you, sometimes i wonder if electrical signals simply aren't transmitted entirely or properly in my head, because i can totally feel something in my soul but not have any interest in my body to live accordingly to that, or to put that belief into action. i can't even communicate properly to myself, no wonder i can't communicate to other people without causing some huge gap, some huge void. it's because there's ALWAYS that huge void within myself even. and when there's a void between me and myself, there's a bridge there I can't cross. but when there's a void between me and God...there is a bridge, and it is a cross." - Sean McCarron

He said it so beautifully that I just had to quote him.

Lately, emotions from inner parts of my being have been gushing out of my brain causing a non-stop traffic within my soul. I don't know. Like it's like a trial in itself to wrestle with my own self. There's this period of time where you just want to let it all go, to stop dealing with life's hassles and temptations and stresses and problems and a number of other intolerable accounts of chaos. I hate to say it, but sometimes i just want to give up. Sometimes, there seems to be no purpose for me to be living here in the world.

Sometimes, I imagine myself just as a Mom. I imagine myself raising my kids. Having kids of my own, I would home-school them, speak truth into their lives, set morals and principles, and having fun through it all. To be happy, that's all I want. It's so cliche. =) but it's true. There's just a simple truth in being content with what God gives through life.