aiyah, I'm having an identity crisis again. Should I try to fit in? But then that means I'm going to go against all that I stand for. Should I go with the flow of the world? But then I start acting like the world...DaHh!

Why do people change behavior when around certain people? Why does everybody have dual personalities? It really troubles me that the relationships that I have, they aren't being honest with themselves and therefore, cause me to have a false impression of them. It makes me sad. I am this way, too, in some degree. I can be quite talkative when talking about issues of the heart. But then other times, I'm just indifferent to trivial problems. I dunno...

But doesn't the entire world consist of trivial pursuits of power, of fame, of wealth, or of whatever that appeases the apetite of the soul.

Oh man, I want to go back to the basics of life. To live as if Christ were here, right now. Living without regret or sorrow or pain or cynism or depression or malice or deceit or anything of the sort. I'm tired of living lies of people. I'm tired of being who I don't want to be. I don't want to live life as a commoner. I belong to the King of Kings. I don't need to petty myself with useless matters.Just enjoy God. Just listen to Him. Who cares who's listening, Grace. Who cares if they're watching your every move. I got yo back. There's no need to care. Give your burdens to me. I'll help you along this dusty road.

"Worshipping God is fun"
"I know, right?"
"When my friends ask me what I want to do, deep down in my heart, I feel a tug on my soul to just praise God with all my heart. But when I say, 'Let's worship God!! Yay!' They're like 'uhh, you psycho religious freak' and then I feel bad"
"oh don't, seriously, nothing gets better than acknowledging God for who He is cause 'He's worthy to be praised' so there aint nothing wrong with that, girl"
"But people already think I'm a freak. Shouldn't I try to make myself look at least somewhat approachable?"
"Well, you can't change the past. All you can do is set your priorities straight, what matters most to you. In the Bible, it says to die is to gain, to live is to Christ. Grace, when we die, man, that's when the party becomes crazy. Worshipping God, getting drunk with the power of the Holy Spirit. Heck, if I could, I would want to die right this minute. But I'm not dead and neither are you, possibly intellectually or physically dead, but spiritually, your Spirit lives on. There's a certain purpose that God has in store for you. Until you've achieved it, don't sacrifice the greatest opportunity of your eternal life, to make a difference."
"That's what I've heard so many times. It just doesn't click."
"Well, make it click. Remember, you're on the winning side. There aint no losers that belong to God."