High school drama termination countdown: 10 days
I've been going to 24 hour fitness over the past week. so been pretty tired and sore. Once my body gets used to the torture, I'll be okay. Anyway, so yeah, I've been thinking. Thinking a lot. Where do you come to the point where you give your all to God? I once figured, when you hit rock bottom, you gotta go up. I suppose you can look at it that way. But I wanna say that deep within me, I don't want my life to be a cycle of "Oh man, I sinned and I must repent and go back to God", but rather a deeper thirst and yearning for the things of God. For an intimate portrait of communion between God the Father and Grace the child. Repentance is essential. But it may become routine, you know? In some form, a mix of legalism and complacency arises in the spirit. I'm ignorant. I don't know much. But what I know, I try to utilize and am always trying to understand life for what its worth. So forgive me, but I'm tired of "Christianity" and how "structured" it has become. I just wish...I don't know, I just wish that God will smack us into place all at once. But then everybody is at a different level in spirituality. It so complex, this life is. I'm just full of contradictions. I wish for consistency.