Yeah, I didn't get into UT.

It's so strange. People around me have gotten their acceptance letters with great joy. And I wanted in on that relief. But I didn't get it. That whole rejection thing is not good for my soul. I didn't think it would happen to me. Perhaps in my mind, I had jinxed it by thinking that they wouldn't reject me, I'm Grace, sure I'm not smart, but I'm capable. But, no no. I need to be more realistic. I'm not worth that scholarship. I'm not worth it. I'm worthless to any alma mater.

My mind is cluttered with all these ideas that maybe I'm not even that smart to begin with. I start thinking, maybe college is not the way to go. I start to think maybe I should just find the next man I meet and marry him and live life as a housewife, without the burdens of education. Oh God, what am I thinking? I wish I could call them and tell them that their rejection of me has caused me mental instability so in order to relieve the tension on my brain they should just let me in anyway.

Darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it. darn it.

I WANT TO SCREAM.