tis a new year, and i'm ready for the worst. booyah baby!!

okay, it does seem as if i've disappeared on the face of the earth. I managed to not blog for an ENTIRE month!! wow, new record. I should do it more often. The blog fast was a good thing for me.

So, out of all the things i wanted to accomplish, the one I wanted most didn't happen. More genuine alone time with God. I mean, I definitely feel as if God has renewed my spirit, but I just want to be more intimate with him. So I continue to hope and pray for a deeper, meaningful relationship with my God, my King.

I was reminded of the way I viewed God. I have shamefully lowered his status to a human. I disrespected him. I used his name in vain. Our Lord, deserves to be treated like a King. He deserves all praises. If I can't even offer my life to him, what good am i, as a servant? Geez, oh man, oh man.

There was this one night when my dad had told me that I show disrespect when I talk back to him. Afterwards, I was like maaan, if I do that to my earthly father, what about my GOD? what about the One who provides EVERYTHING for me? Who shaped the earth? Who made humanity out of his image? Have I done that? Do I do that? Oh my. If I treat my ba-ba with such belittle-ling gestures, I must do worse to my Heavenly Father who I cannot see with my human eyes.

I want to be obedient. I learned that obedience is a great act of love. If only I can be obedient to God. I want to be obedient to God.

It seems as though i've been misdirected in the last year. I've fallen into that deep hole of trying to dig myself out but i only manage to push myself harder into the ground. If God knows everything, if all things are directed to His will, then who am i to control my future? If I just lean into God, all things fall into place.

So, I must conclude with this thought, God is unseen because it is by faith, we stand firm.