you are all i want
you are all i need
you are all i seek
there is no other
who can grab a hold of my heart
like you can
when you whisper in my ear
that you love me.
I wanna dance with you in the bright moonlight, just you and i. let's run away together.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
A call from Mom.
Today my mom called me! According to my mom, Michael asked her to call me. She tells me that Michael misses me very much. Aw, that made my day. =)
I'm really anticipating Eric's wedding. It's in 2 weeks! I'm excited. It'll be the first wedding i go to, but hopefully, not my last =
AFC guys have been playing some good football. I'm very proud of their sportsmanship and how they play the game. Yesterday, we lost 18-7. They were playing against the defending champions of last year. With maybe 40 seconds left of the game, the guys just started to pass the football from Daniel to Caleb to James to Steve and back to Daniel and again to Caleb and that's when the game ended. It was soo funny. It's also encouraging that they come to pray together at the end. I love them.
KSA girls are also playing intramural football. I saw Sarah and Esther play some hard ball. They were working hard. I also met with Sherry. She was there supporting Stephanie (who is Chinese, Filipino, and Japanese - wow). They lost, but that's okay. As long as they don't swear, it's all good.
Camping Trip was amazing. I felt so stretched and torn down during the entire weekend. A lot of things were happening all at once. It was overwhelming. But i look back, and I can see God was moving when i really didn't think so, reiterating the fact that i am scum. God is so much greater than anything i can understand. I might clue you in on some details later on. Now i must get to class.
I'm really anticipating Eric's wedding. It's in 2 weeks! I'm excited. It'll be the first wedding i go to, but hopefully, not my last =
AFC guys have been playing some good football. I'm very proud of their sportsmanship and how they play the game. Yesterday, we lost 18-7. They were playing against the defending champions of last year. With maybe 40 seconds left of the game, the guys just started to pass the football from Daniel to Caleb to James to Steve and back to Daniel and again to Caleb and that's when the game ended. It was soo funny. It's also encouraging that they come to pray together at the end. I love them.
KSA girls are also playing intramural football. I saw Sarah and Esther play some hard ball. They were working hard. I also met with Sherry. She was there supporting Stephanie (who is Chinese, Filipino, and Japanese - wow). They lost, but that's okay. As long as they don't swear, it's all good.
Camping Trip was amazing. I felt so stretched and torn down during the entire weekend. A lot of things were happening all at once. It was overwhelming. But i look back, and I can see God was moving when i really didn't think so, reiterating the fact that i am scum. God is so much greater than anything i can understand. I might clue you in on some details later on. Now i must get to class.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Saturday, September 04, 2004
My results.
Towards the beginning of the school year, I had my blood drawn. My father and my younger brother had recently been told that they had high cholesterol. Therefore, there was a high chance that I too will be diagnozed with high cholesterol or diabetes. Needless to say, I am. I do have high cholesterol at the premature age of 19. haha.
...I also don't have enough carbon dioxide in my body??
...I also don't have enough carbon dioxide in my body??
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Parallel Parking!
I parallel parked the other day. It was the first time i successfully parallel parked. Muahaha. I can now rule the world. Yay! But yeah, the thing is, i didn't pass when parallel parking when i took driver's ed. I got an F, but for everything else, i got an A. So i'm so extremely happy that i FINALLY did it! you should be proud of me.
Monday, August 23, 2004
A New Year has begun.
today was the first day of classes. Going from class to class, i keep running into random people. It's fun. haha. But urm, things are a bit hectic in my life. I'm not sure how stable i am anymore. I may come off as being "okay" or maybe i am. dah.
I don't know. I'm paranoid about a lot of things in my life. I've noticed that. Hah. It took my younger brother to actually point it out to me. But he's right. It's not that i make drama. It's more of worrying about how I interact with my friends. I worry that I'm not being as friendly, funny, understanding, considerate, [fill in postive adjective], as i could be. When I worry, it means i don't believe God can help me. I get so caught up in making everything right on my own strength that i can't hear God. I can't hear him say, "Grace, I'm here. Trust me." I've become a bit disillusioned.
But on the superficial side, i've been doing okay. I'm not necessarily sad about anything. Just been in a daze of what's been going on since Welcome Week. Welcome Week is an experience never to be forgotten. Man, it was a lot of work, well at least the first two days were. Thursday was move-in day so all Welcome Week staff were at the freshmen dorms helping them move in. It was hectic. At first, it was fun. We were excited to meet the new freshmen. But as time dragged on, we got dehydrated and exhausted. I worked for nearly 5 hours. Whew, talk about working out. We climbed the stairs with boxes, fringes, tvs, computers. It was tiring. But a good tired. =) But that was probably the most I had to work for Welcome Week. The rest of the time was merely speculating if we even needed to help at all.
Annnndd, living with Kristina has already been a great blessing. I love it. =) Well i have pictures. But i won't load until i get connection with my laptop. So i fare thee well.
I don't know. I'm paranoid about a lot of things in my life. I've noticed that. Hah. It took my younger brother to actually point it out to me. But he's right. It's not that i make drama. It's more of worrying about how I interact with my friends. I worry that I'm not being as friendly, funny, understanding, considerate, [fill in postive adjective], as i could be. When I worry, it means i don't believe God can help me. I get so caught up in making everything right on my own strength that i can't hear God. I can't hear him say, "Grace, I'm here. Trust me." I've become a bit disillusioned.
But on the superficial side, i've been doing okay. I'm not necessarily sad about anything. Just been in a daze of what's been going on since Welcome Week. Welcome Week is an experience never to be forgotten. Man, it was a lot of work, well at least the first two days were. Thursday was move-in day so all Welcome Week staff were at the freshmen dorms helping them move in. It was hectic. At first, it was fun. We were excited to meet the new freshmen. But as time dragged on, we got dehydrated and exhausted. I worked for nearly 5 hours. Whew, talk about working out. We climbed the stairs with boxes, fringes, tvs, computers. It was tiring. But a good tired. =) But that was probably the most I had to work for Welcome Week. The rest of the time was merely speculating if we even needed to help at all.
Annnndd, living with Kristina has already been a great blessing. I love it. =) Well i have pictures. But i won't load until i get connection with my laptop. So i fare thee well.
Friday, August 13, 2004
What to pack.
Man, i'm a bit stumped. I know that i have to pack, but i can't seem to get enough motivation to do it. I suppose, subconsciously, i don't want to because i'd rather just stay in Houston. Or maybe i'm plain lazy. neh.
Today was nice. I spent time with my Dad. We had lunch together and then we cleaned the house. Yes, he still is a pain in the butt. Yes, he still lectures me on things I already heard him lecture about. And, yes, he still picks on every little detail of my life. But, I love him to death. It turns out that my mother thinks I love her the least. She thinks Michael loves her the most, then Andy, and lastly, me. I want to say that's not true. But, come to think of it, maybe it is.
Not that it really matters. I love my parents. I don't love the other any more or less. I love them for their support and their guidance and their love. Just because i'm not very affectionate with my mom doesn't mean i love her any less than my dad. I think it goes along the same lines with my friends. Just because i am not affectionate to you, doesn't mean i care for you any less. I've never been very expressive. Give me time. Maybe it'll grow on me, eventually...this outward sign of affection thing.
Today was nice. I spent time with my Dad. We had lunch together and then we cleaned the house. Yes, he still is a pain in the butt. Yes, he still lectures me on things I already heard him lecture about. And, yes, he still picks on every little detail of my life. But, I love him to death. It turns out that my mother thinks I love her the least. She thinks Michael loves her the most, then Andy, and lastly, me. I want to say that's not true. But, come to think of it, maybe it is.
Not that it really matters. I love my parents. I don't love the other any more or less. I love them for their support and their guidance and their love. Just because i'm not very affectionate with my mom doesn't mean i love her any less than my dad. I think it goes along the same lines with my friends. Just because i am not affectionate to you, doesn't mean i care for you any less. I've never been very expressive. Give me time. Maybe it'll grow on me, eventually...this outward sign of affection thing.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Sunday, August 08, 2004
I feel stagnant.
Geez, I really feel lethargic and useless.
If I don't ask for it, it's not going to happen.
I really want God to break me down. I want to break down. I want my pride to crash into an oblivion. I want patience and humility to shower down on me. I want to serve and not be served. I wish to be the best sheep the Shepard has ever set his eyes on.
My relationship with God is complex. I have these conflicting ideas of who I'm suppose to be in Christ. I wrestle with this idea that an ultimate creator desires to spend time with me and for me to want to spend time with Him, is hard. Day to day, I wish to honor God. I wish to please him. I often see myself falling just short of glorifying Him. How do you get closer to God? How do you draw ever near to him to hear his heart beat? When do you feel his arms wrapped closely around you?
My life has been great. I've been keeping myself productive. I got a job. I had summer school for the first time. I'm meeting up with good friends every week. My family and I are on great terms. But in the midst of all this, I feel lost. It's true. Whenever our lives seem to be going great, we fail to acknowledge God. Isn't he the one who gave us such blessings?
Nearly a week left before I go back. I have a list of prayer requests:
- fresh faith: to live an active, spiritual life
- dynamic fellowship: brotherhood of believers
- extreme intimacy: draw ever closer to my sisters/brothers and to God
- driven/ambitious leadership: lead under the authority of God
Thank you, Jesus. This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!
Geez, I really feel lethargic and useless.
If I don't ask for it, it's not going to happen.
I really want God to break me down. I want to break down. I want my pride to crash into an oblivion. I want patience and humility to shower down on me. I want to serve and not be served. I wish to be the best sheep the Shepard has ever set his eyes on.
My relationship with God is complex. I have these conflicting ideas of who I'm suppose to be in Christ. I wrestle with this idea that an ultimate creator desires to spend time with me and for me to want to spend time with Him, is hard. Day to day, I wish to honor God. I wish to please him. I often see myself falling just short of glorifying Him. How do you get closer to God? How do you draw ever near to him to hear his heart beat? When do you feel his arms wrapped closely around you?
My life has been great. I've been keeping myself productive. I got a job. I had summer school for the first time. I'm meeting up with good friends every week. My family and I are on great terms. But in the midst of all this, I feel lost. It's true. Whenever our lives seem to be going great, we fail to acknowledge God. Isn't he the one who gave us such blessings?
Nearly a week left before I go back. I have a list of prayer requests:
- fresh faith: to live an active, spiritual life
- dynamic fellowship: brotherhood of believers
- extreme intimacy: draw ever closer to my sisters/brothers and to God
- driven/ambitious leadership: lead under the authority of God
Thank you, Jesus. This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
hiya!
I'm pooped.
Today was my last day of class. It's been a long time since i've been proud of my writing. My teacher kept on praising me on my work. She said how my writings were always provocative and, more importantly, she was impressed. My goodness. I always thought that i was horrible at English. I mean, i'm no Zoe Tham, nor Andrew Ye. But, for the first time, i did well in my English class. If you've been following me since i started this blog, i used to always complain about my english classes. I hated english since Hemme during my Junior year. It was a living hell, being in that class. So, no more english. It ended with a bang!
The crew recently changed locations from Tapioca House to Tea Cafe (TeaDot). The food is great. Drinks? Man, you get your bang for that buck. I guess my only problem is, you don't know how to pay. I get confused if i'm suppose to go to the register, before or after i get my order. I don't know if I'm suppose to sit down at a table or go to the register to order. It's all very complex. haha.
Oh yeah, tomorrow is my last day of work. my oh my. This summer has gone by way too fast. I remember just coming back from RecWeek. I remember. I remember watching Troy with the Baylor folk. I remember. I remember my first day of work and the first time i screwed up at work. I remember. I remember my first paper due in class.
All i know is that this busyness, it's got me really worn out. I feel really burnt out. I don't feel like doing much anymore. It's quite sad. I'm more lethargic than i have ever been. My workout schedule is totally screwed up. oh well. hah. But i hope i regain my focus once school starts.
Boo on Boys.
I'm pooped.
Today was my last day of class. It's been a long time since i've been proud of my writing. My teacher kept on praising me on my work. She said how my writings were always provocative and, more importantly, she was impressed. My goodness. I always thought that i was horrible at English. I mean, i'm no Zoe Tham, nor Andrew Ye. But, for the first time, i did well in my English class. If you've been following me since i started this blog, i used to always complain about my english classes. I hated english since Hemme during my Junior year. It was a living hell, being in that class. So, no more english. It ended with a bang!
The crew recently changed locations from Tapioca House to Tea Cafe (TeaDot). The food is great. Drinks? Man, you get your bang for that buck. I guess my only problem is, you don't know how to pay. I get confused if i'm suppose to go to the register, before or after i get my order. I don't know if I'm suppose to sit down at a table or go to the register to order. It's all very complex. haha.
Oh yeah, tomorrow is my last day of work. my oh my. This summer has gone by way too fast. I remember just coming back from RecWeek. I remember. I remember watching Troy with the Baylor folk. I remember. I remember my first day of work and the first time i screwed up at work. I remember. I remember my first paper due in class.
All i know is that this busyness, it's got me really worn out. I feel really burnt out. I don't feel like doing much anymore. It's quite sad. I'm more lethargic than i have ever been. My workout schedule is totally screwed up. oh well. hah. But i hope i regain my focus once school starts.
Boo on Boys.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
The law firm I work at is located near Chinatown. The church building where my church had been established was being knocked down. How weird.
In that building, i've had so many experiences and memories. Wow, as i was watching them demolish the fellowship hall, I began to see my past flash before my eyes. When Natalie, Ida, and I would secretly hide in the room to have our private chats. When Long had first talked to me about Christ. Our central meeting place before we head off to retreats. Horrible, oily Chinese fast food for lunch. My first tears shed for God. Uninhibited worship sessions. Experiencing God for the first time. Witnessing to friends and family.
Look how far we've come, ladies and gentlemen.
In that building, i've had so many experiences and memories. Wow, as i was watching them demolish the fellowship hall, I began to see my past flash before my eyes. When Natalie, Ida, and I would secretly hide in the room to have our private chats. When Long had first talked to me about Christ. Our central meeting place before we head off to retreats. Horrible, oily Chinese fast food for lunch. My first tears shed for God. Uninhibited worship sessions. Experiencing God for the first time. Witnessing to friends and family.
Look how far we've come, ladies and gentlemen.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Monday, July 26, 2004
whew! i'm exhausted.
i have my first draft of my 7 to 10 page paper due on Thursday. Yikes! I'm going to be up all night Wednesday. Work ends next Thursday. [sigh] i'm going to miss them. AND, i'm not sure when i'm going back yet. Cause i need to be there on the 17th, but i don't want to feel rushed.
My brain is mush. I'm suffering from a lot of fatigue and stress. I wake up pretty early each morning to get ready for school. After school, I run a few errands for my mom. Then i buy food for Michael and myself. Then off to work at 1. Run to the post office to drop off mail for them around 4:30. Head to the gym to work out. Eat dinner around 7 or 8. Then i keep all to myself in my room for the rest of the night chatting online or working on homework. Weekends are nice. I get to relax. i hung out with my mom this last weekend since my brother was busy with his social engagements and I didn't make any plans. So eating dinner and watching movies with my mom was good.
What else? Huong's bridal shower is this coming Saturday. I need to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy something for her. I'm going to meet up with Jennifer S. on Sunday, hopefully. And, nope, i think that's about it for now.
...My memory has gotten worse. I don't know what's up with me, but i can't seem to remember the simpliest things! I knew i had a bad memory during the semester, but i didn't know it was this bad! What happened?! I've been making it a habit to write things down so that i could remind myself. I've used up ALL my post-it notes doing so.
Did I mention i am exhausted? today was a busy day as usual. It's hard for me to switch modes from school to work. I get lethargic right after school just cause i'm tired and i am certainly not a morning person.
Otherwise, I can't complain about anything. God has been so generous. He's blessed me with a time of pure grace. He sure is gooood.
i have my first draft of my 7 to 10 page paper due on Thursday. Yikes! I'm going to be up all night Wednesday. Work ends next Thursday. [sigh] i'm going to miss them. AND, i'm not sure when i'm going back yet. Cause i need to be there on the 17th, but i don't want to feel rushed.
My brain is mush. I'm suffering from a lot of fatigue and stress. I wake up pretty early each morning to get ready for school. After school, I run a few errands for my mom. Then i buy food for Michael and myself. Then off to work at 1. Run to the post office to drop off mail for them around 4:30. Head to the gym to work out. Eat dinner around 7 or 8. Then i keep all to myself in my room for the rest of the night chatting online or working on homework. Weekends are nice. I get to relax. i hung out with my mom this last weekend since my brother was busy with his social engagements and I didn't make any plans. So eating dinner and watching movies with my mom was good.
What else? Huong's bridal shower is this coming Saturday. I need to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy something for her. I'm going to meet up with Jennifer S. on Sunday, hopefully. And, nope, i think that's about it for now.
...My memory has gotten worse. I don't know what's up with me, but i can't seem to remember the simpliest things! I knew i had a bad memory during the semester, but i didn't know it was this bad! What happened?! I've been making it a habit to write things down so that i could remind myself. I've used up ALL my post-it notes doing so.
Did I mention i am exhausted? today was a busy day as usual. It's hard for me to switch modes from school to work. I get lethargic right after school just cause i'm tired and i am certainly not a morning person.
Otherwise, I can't complain about anything. God has been so generous. He's blessed me with a time of pure grace. He sure is gooood.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Yay, today was a good day. Fridays are the best. I went to class. I'm very proud of myself. I've been successfully waking up each morning for my 8 o'clock class. I haven't skipped class, yet! I hope to establish this pattern of behavior once the semester starts.
Work has been interesting. I mean, good. I'm learning a lot about office work. There's a lot of routine, and things need to be done in a certain way. My supervisors, though, are great. They are very patient with me. Thank God. haha.
Oh, by the by. I went to Waco last weekend. SO many things were troubling me in Houston that I needed a break from the hassles of home-life. If you want further explanation, feel free to ask. Otherwise, it's tedious and needless to explain myself on the internet.
Continuing on with today's events; I went to drop Mike off at AEC, then I drive over to Memorial City Mall to shop, for others. I was coming out of Sam Goody? Claire's? Foot Locker? And i see Ms. Lee passing the entrance. I saw her, she saw me. I gave a confused look. She gave a confused look. I said, Hey! and then she said, HEY! hehe. It was an interesting coincidence to "bump" into her, considering I had asked her to join me for shopping and she turned me down...what's up with that? *shrugs no biggie.
So, I shop with her, her brother, and their cousins for the time being. It was great hanging out with her. Great girl. After the entourage left, I went on my own way to find my "gifts". I accomplished my mission within a hour and a half, as well as purchasing a few gifts for myself. =)
Came home and relaxed. That's it. Boy, have i had the most exhausting week. I think i'm going to bed.
Work has been interesting. I mean, good. I'm learning a lot about office work. There's a lot of routine, and things need to be done in a certain way. My supervisors, though, are great. They are very patient with me. Thank God. haha.
Oh, by the by. I went to Waco last weekend. SO many things were troubling me in Houston that I needed a break from the hassles of home-life. If you want further explanation, feel free to ask. Otherwise, it's tedious and needless to explain myself on the internet.
Continuing on with today's events; I went to drop Mike off at AEC, then I drive over to Memorial City Mall to shop, for others. I was coming out of Sam Goody? Claire's? Foot Locker? And i see Ms. Lee passing the entrance. I saw her, she saw me. I gave a confused look. She gave a confused look. I said, Hey! and then she said, HEY! hehe. It was an interesting coincidence to "bump" into her, considering I had asked her to join me for shopping and she turned me down...what's up with that? *shrugs no biggie.
So, I shop with her, her brother, and their cousins for the time being. It was great hanging out with her. Great girl. After the entourage left, I went on my own way to find my "gifts". I accomplished my mission within a hour and a half, as well as purchasing a few gifts for myself. =)
Came home and relaxed. That's it. Boy, have i had the most exhausting week. I think i'm going to bed.
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